It’s funny how the seasons of life ebb and flow. Feast or famine. All or nothing.
There are things going on in my life, and the lives of those I love, that keep me up at night. Thinking. Praying. Pondering.
Even when sleep finds me, my very soul continues to battle on in prayer and thought.
There is sleep, but there is little rest.
Our son got sick recently. And as I stood in his darkened room, heat radiating from his little body, the smell of vomit fresh in the air, I held him close and swayed and hummed and whispered words from a mother’s heart into his ear.
And he let me.
He breathing settled, his limbs relaxed and he found rest there in my arms.
As long as he was in my embrace he was able to let go, trust in my care, and truly rest despite the tumultuous circumstances in which he found himself. Ultimate trust.
As I carried on the next day in the sleep-deprived fog that often accompanies the mother of young children, that familiar Voice brought that scene to mind: my son fully resting, trusting that I had it all under control.
You see, I have no problem at all sleeping. Or taking it easy. Sitting still. Those things come all to easily for me.
But there is a difference between sleep, or stillness, and rest. Between sloth and respite.
Though I cannot change one ounce of the circumstances through which I- or those I love – walk, what I can do is change the manner in which I carry them.
My soul is safely tucked within the Hands of the Master Creator. Nothing can take me out of His hand.
If I entrust my life; my soul; my eternity to Him, how much more so can I entrust the days of this life!
I am learning to take the troubles of this world; the pain, the fear, the uncertainty and lay them firmly at the feet of my Love while resting in His arms.
Though the waves of disaster crash about me while vile putrescence of undeserved injustice in this world churns in my belly, I rest fully in His arms knowing He has it all well within control. My lack of understanding the why’s and wherefore’s of the things He allows affects nothing of His control.
And so tonight, I will lie down and sleep in peace as the gentle sway of His arm and beat of His heart sing a lullaby of comfort to this weary soul.