Life · Writing

The Safety Net of Silence


This has always been a very safe place for us, friends, hasn’t it? We’ve always been able to talk freely, and be vulnerable with one another. We’ve talked about everything from parenting funnies to spiritual constipation to culture shock to hair styles. And we’ve always been there for one another, lifting each other up, encouraging one another.

That’s why I love it here so much; why I work so hard outside this space to connect with you whether it’s sharing snippets of life through photos, sharing incredible words from other amazing writers and leaders, or using humor through 149 character quips slightly dripping with the sarcasm I so freely offer.

my voice

Its also why it’s been such an odd time for me here lately. The last three years have been…a strain for our family. I’ve not known exactly how to convey the depth of our experiences, but also been afraid to say too much. Be too transparent. So I’ve opted, instead, for the safety net of silence. However, I fear that perhaps my lack of transparency has given the impression that the past three years have been spent in utter despair. When in truth, these years, while painful and raw in many ways, have also been beautiful, eye opening, and have lead us into a deeper understanding of the Truth, of the goodness of our Father.

I recently wrote about my journey as a writer – of finally being able to call myself Writer without feeling like a complete and total imposter. In that post, I asked you all to fill out a survey about what you’d like to see more of in this space. The survey is still open, so if you haven’t taken it yet, I’d love for you to! Your comments there have been so kind and encouraging to me. Thank you!

However, the results of that survey so far leave me at a bit of an impasse. Most of what you all say you’d like more of are more of my own spiritual journey, and more about my life as an expat.

The spiritual journey thing, that I can do. I simply need to put my big-girl pants on, sit down, and share.

However the expat part…I have spent over a decade either being an expat, or preparing to be one. A large part of what I have shared here has been our experiences of finding our way in the rushing waters of culture and language acquisition. And many you are here for that very reason – you, too, are in a land not your own, and there’s a camaraderie to be found among us.

But now, I find myself with the title of Former Expat, and I’m not sure what to do with that in this space. I hope to always be a source of encouragement and insight to those still living that gloriously chaotic lifestyle. However now, you will see our experiences of re-entry into our home culture. A lot has changed, you know!

My point to all of this is…I don’t know if I have approached our time of transition and loss the right way or not, in regards to this blog. However, I know many of you are also struggling with how much to say. How much truth do you truly share in the circle of chairs in Sunday School, or to the friend with the kind eyes over a cup of coffee.

My advice is this: you don’t have to go into nitty gritty details, but I’ve come to discover that community is planted in the midst of vulnerability, watered with the flow of conversation, and flourishes in the warmth of encouragement, support, and gentle admonishment.

But share, dear friends. Open your hearts to one another; to me. We have so much to learn from one another, and we were not meant to walk this journey of life and faith alone. Even Christ fueled up with intense time alone with the Father, and then joined the community he had painstakingly worked to build.

So, friends, I’m working to untangle myself from the safety net of silence, and rejoin the warm waters of community here. Are you with me?

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